Behold ladies and gentlemen my most recent online purchase- It is a “nut milk bag” and you basically blend up a bunch of your nuts together with water and then put your nuts in the nut bag and then squeeze it as hard as you can until all the white runny liquid comes out. Then you put all the white liquid that came from tirelessly working your nut bag in the fridge (don’t worry, separation does occur naturally). The liquid from your nut bag tastes good in coffee, cereal, or just on its own on a lonely Saturday night.

It also came with a really sucky, cursive personal note telling me how I can “recover from Morbid Obesity”