So I was thinking this morning in the shower, and being the intelligent African American woman I am, I was really worried about America’s future. Who is going to represent me and my race like she did? Who is going to take Oprah Winfrey’s throne at the alter of show business, regality, and class? Don’t stress out about it, I wouldn’t throw that at you without at least some ideas that I came up with to work off of. They are as follows:

1) Cindy McCain- This might be the best thing to happen to America since the Roomba. She likes helping people, she adopted a child from a different country and a different look, and instead of a Dr. Phil segment, she could have her doctors come on that helped her establish/maintain an addiction to Percocet and Vicodin (good tips for those lonely housewives who want an excuse to never get out of bed)

2) Al Roker -

• sense of humor, check
• likes to eat, check
• kind of educated, check

hell, if you just put a wig on him- he could be Oprah (I mean that nicely).

3)Phillip Craig Garrido - He has strong Christian values that America could use a little bit more of, well traveled, and good with children.

4) Tyra Banks- This is what is most likely to happen. Get ready for more fat suit experiments and all natural, no-cover-ups-here look at what life like a woman is today (I hate myself for writing that).

5) Dane Cook- Just kidding, God doesn’t hate us that much.

I hope this relieves some of your anxiety and I’d love to hear some of your ideas.